Are you ready to jump into the next year, or are you dragging your feet? The new year can put us through a myriad of emotions, ranging from excitement, fear, anxiety, hope, and depression, to a whole host of others.
No matter how you are feeling about the coming year, here are:
5 ways to make sure this next year is your best year ever
Ready? Set? Here we go!
Be Comfortable with Yourself
Easier said than done, right?
Comfortability with yourself doesn’t come with confidence that you are the best of the best. That’s the feeling of victory, not comfort. Being comfortable with yourself happens when you like yourself.
Sound impossible? Not at all.
We are encouraged to be hard on ourselves- to be critical.
All of the messages we get from our parents, from advertising and a myriad of other sources tell us that we can only be happy with ourselves if we get that degree, lose those pounds, and snag that promotion.
But I’m here to tell you that you can be comfortable with yourself right now, right this very minute, no matter what your circumstances are.
It’s okay to be who you are. Ambitious or not ambitious. Overweight or fit. Intelligent or too stupid to come in from the rain. It’s okay.
Get to know the you that you are. Be honest about your strengths and weaknesses.
Learn to appreciate all aspects of yourself- it’s what makes you, you! There is no one else like you. You are special just the way that you are, and you don’t need anyone else to corroborate this- it is a fact.
That’s where being comfortable in your own skin comes from- a loving understanding of yourself.
Try it out today. It’s worth the time and the work you put into it.
That being said, you don’t have to like everything about yourself. I mean, every one of us has things that we might like to change. The secret is, to want to change because we want to change, not because someone else or our society tells us we should.
Which brings me to #2:
Pinpoint Those Things that you Would Like to Work on, and Then Do It
My goals for the new year include wanting to be a more caring person. I don’t just want to be seen to do more caring things, but I want to devote more time to having more empathy for others and to put that empathy into practice in practical ways. I want to spend this next year working for others.
This may seem like an impossible goal, but it’s far from it.
The first thing I did was brainstormed a list of ways I can help, beginning with those closest to me, and expanding outward to the community. I then made a plan of both little and big things to add/change/subtract as I go about my days.
No matter what you think is lacking in yourself, and what you want to change- there is always a way to do it. All it requires is your willingness to change.
And every little movement towards your goal is a victory. Changing a little or a lot is still a change- no amount is too small to count! Even your willingness to change is a wonderful thing—that desire to be better matters.
Working for goodness is a beautiful thing.
Give Up Criticizing
Another important way you can make this year better than last year is to give up criticizing- for good.
We are all in the habit of looking for those things around us and about us that we think just don’t measure up. We can come away with criticism about something from almost every interaction or situation we encounter.
We begin to look at the world and ask, ‘What’s wrong with this person/situation/job/day/etc.?’ instead of ‘What’s right about it?’
This negativity begins to poison our perspective and our mood. We start to enjoy this criticism. We begin to think that it makes us discerning. That we have refined tastes because nothing can please us.
Instead, we become people who are incapable of joy.
Once we accept that people don’t exist to please us- they are just trying to live their lives the best that they can, we begin to be free from the burden of criticism.
If we go further, and realize that oftentimes we criticize out of fear, anxiety, or jealousy. Or that we’ve been taught to criticize from our family of origin or our group of friends, and it’s become a habit.
But we can break that habit.
And then we can begin to shed criticism for good.
Let Go of Anger
This is a tough one.
All people experience anger, often over seemingly nothing at all!
But it’s not something that we need to carry around with us. We can learn to experience it, and let it go.
If something bad happens to us, it’s okay – even healthy- to get angry. It’s a sign that something is wrong and needs to change.
Sometimes it’s us, and sometimes it’s others.
If it’s ourselves, we can do that work to get to the cause of the anger, employ anger management techniques, or seek help handling that emotion.
But if it’s others- what if we could learn to speak to them in a loving and supportive way, while still telling them how they honestly made us feel?
I’m telling you, it makes all the difference in the world.
And it’s not like we aren’t willing to talk about what makes us angry.
The problem is that we’re usually talking to everyone but the person with whom we’re angry. Having trouble with the husband? We complain to our friends. Problems at work? We unload on our husband. Are kids mouthing off? We vent to our own parents. If we could just talk with compassion and grace to the people who have made us angry or have hurt us, we could begin to fix this problem of anger.
And last, but not least:
Make Time for the Things that You Care About
Time is a precious thing, and it slips away so easily.
We have to be deliberate as to how we use it. Make time for those things that you care about.
Do you like spending time outside? Are you interested in exploring spirituality? Want to spend more time you’re your kids or your spouse? Schedule it into your daily routine.
Oftentimes we let slide things that can seem optional but are really essential. Demands of a job, housework, and sleep seem like all consuming time gobblers, so we sacrifice those things that we do for fun or fulfilment.
But those things are what make us, us. They are what give life meaning, and give our lives true joy. They make us jump out of bed in the morning and hope for a better tomorrow.
So do you agree with my list?
I’m not an expert on life, just someone who’s trying to do it better as I learn and grow. Let’s learn and grow together!
Tell me what you think of my list and what you’re looking forward to about the next year- I’d love to hear.
tlillie