Spirituality- A Clergy Wife’s Perspective

Do you consider yourself spiritual? And if so, what does that mean to you?

It turns out, everyone’s answer to this question is different; it is as varied as people themselves.

How we think of spirituality is a combination of our individual personalities and personal life experiences- which is unique to each person. Just like there are no two snowflakes exactly alike, no one’s experience of spirituality is identical to another’s.

There is no one exactly like you, right?

No one has had your personality or your exact experiences in life, so no one else thinks or feels exactly like you.

The definition of spirituality, however, seems to be something we can all agree on- the sense or awareness or feeling of connection to something greater than oneself. It is the nagging belief that the material world is not all there is, that there is something more out there, even if we don’t know what that something might be.

The experience of that definition differs for each and every one of us.

And I’m here to tell you that that is ok.

It’s more than ok- it’s good. Great, even.

We don’t all have to have the same experience of, or talk about, spirituality in the same way. It would be strange if we did.

But in my own spiritual journey, I have come to find that spiritual people are alike in certain ways. The more I meet them and interact with them, I realize that they all have these four things in common, to one degree or another:

They Know They Don’t Have All the Answers

To follow a spiritual path- whether you’re Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, or something undefined, means that you are looking for answers to something bigger than yourself. Spirituality is the belief that none of us, nor the material world, holds all the answers.

In other words, it is the belief that there is something more to learn, both out there, and in ourselves.

And while most religions believe that there are ways to get to that higher knowledge or experience, none of them believe that it’s easy, or quick.

Therefore, most spiritual people believe that they are on a journey, or going through a process to “get” somewhere else, or to become something more. This means that they all believe that they are in the process of learning, and have a long way to go.

It is this understanding that makes spiritual people seekers of truth and interested learners, instead of “know-it-alls”.

And if they don’t have all the answers, why would they expect fellow travelers to be perfect?

Therefore, spiritual people give others the grace to be learners themselves. They are patient with others and are slow to correct or to criticize.

Which brings me to #2

Spiritual People are Learning How to Listen

You’d think that this would be an easy one, right, since we all have ears?

But no.

Most of us can hear, but very few people know how to listen. And even some of those who were born without hearing, make better listeners than those of us who hear just fine.

Hearing and listening are very different. The ear recognizes sounds, but people who listen do more than hear words- they listen for something more.

As St. Benedict of Nursia said, “Listen and attend with the ear of your heart.”

Spiritual people are listening beyond hearing.

They can hear what someone is saying in the light of their own beliefs, yet they give compassion and understanding to the person speaking, who may or may not share those beliefs. They truly listen to hear what someone else is saying from their unique perspective, instead of just listening for what they may want to hear.

And a part of that listening is taking into account the struggles, feelings, personality, and life experiences of the person speaking.

Which brings us to:

Spiritual People Care About Others

They are the opposite of self-involved.

A belief in something bigger than yourself means that you believe that you are not the center of the universe. That there is something greater than you out there, and you, yourself, are one of many.

And therefore, that other people’s needs are just as important as your own.

Therefore, spiritual people do real and concrete things in their lives to care for others. These can be as simple as:

A smile and a question about someone else’s day

Being curious about the thoughts, feelings, and perspectives of others

Donating time or money to those in need

Caring for those who can’t care for themselves

Just to name a few of the numerous ways spiritual people care for others.

The point is, that spiritual people don’t just have feelings of caring, but put those feelings into action.

And lastly,

Spiritual People are Committed to Their Spirituality

In other words, it’s something to which they give time and effort.

It’s more than an occasional feeling or mood- they let those feelings and moods move them to seek greater understanding.

And this can be a different process for everyone. We all have different seasons of our life which influence our spiritual journey. Sometimes we devote more time and intensity to seeking spirituality, and sometimes, other things take up more of our attention.

And that’s just part of the process.

But spiritual people keep coming back to seek the answer to those questions, like- what else is there? what does life mean? what happens after death?

Spirituality is both simple enough to be accessible to everyone, yet complicated enough for an advanced degree program. And spiritual people know that it takes time, persistence, patience, and dedication to keep moving down that path, to continue on the journey. 

No matter what your path of spirituality looks like, I hope that we can share our journeys together.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about what spirituality means to you.

Drop me a comment in the comment section, or sign up for our email list to continue the conversation.