Embracing True Hospitality: A Journey Beyond Ourselves

In the rich tapestry of Scripture, threads of hospitality are woven throughout, beckoning us to a life of open-hearted generosity. It encourages us to help other Christians and welcome strangers into our lives. 

So, what does it mean to be hospitable? I’ve been reflecting on this question lately.

The Apostle Paul urges us:

Contribute to the needs of the saints; extend hospitality to strangers.

Romans 12:13

This simple instruction challenges the very core of our being.

Similarly, the writer of Hebrews presents us with a divine mystery: 

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.

Hebrews 13:2

Beyond the excitement of the possibility of divine encounters disguised in everyday interactions, it begs the question:

What does it mean to truly be hospitable, and how can we “show” it to others?

Round stones adorn the shore where the ocean and the beach meet.
Pebble Beach in Rockport, MA.

Hospitality: A Reflection on a Recent Journey

My current thoughts about hospitality stem from our family’s recent road trip to the beautiful beaches of Massachusetts. We live in Saranac Lake, which isn’t too far away, and we enjoy road trips. Sometimes my husband gets the urge to see the ocean, so he finds a budget-friendly hotel, we all get in the car, and away we go.

But this time, we weren’t the only ones who thought of heading to the ocean on a sunny Memorial Day weekend. We were greeted not by solitude and the promise of languid walks on the beach, but by so many people! There were traffic jams, crowded streets, and long waits at popular restaurants. And we kept seeing signs that said “No Public Restrooms” – a stark reminder of genuine and persistent inhospitality.

The Paradox of Beautiful Places

And I get it. We live in the beautiful Adirondack Mountains, which has its own tourist traffic, summer and winter. I understand that it’s difficult to be inundated by crowds in some months, and ignored in others. It is the conundrum of beautiful places- we all want them for ourselves without thought for anyone else.

Locals depend on tourist money for their livelihoods, but would rather have their mountains, lakes, and other beautiful attractions all to themselves without the bother of tourists.

While tourists tend to treat locals like employees in their own personal resort, desiring them to see to their every need, and then to get out of the way of their as they go about bathing, sightseeing, relaxing, and in general, enjoying themselves.

This tension between self-interest and communal need is where hospitality often falters, therefore being in stark contrast to God’s directive to care for one another- a commandment that calls us to look beyond our own desires.

Overflowing with Love and Grace

The Scriptures don’t shy away from addressing the radical nature of true hospitality. It is a heart condition, a deep-seated inclination to love our neighbor so completely that we would part with any of our possessions to aid in their care.

Hospitality is not about mutual enjoyment, either in giving or getting. It isn’t even about welcoming others into spaces we consider “ours,” but about an inclination to God wherever we may be.  It is about welcoming others into the expansive love of Christ that exists in our hearts, mirroring the selfless service and love bestowed upon us by God.

Jesus exemplified this through His life, giving of Himself entirely and inviting us to do the same. True hospitality is about wholeheartedly engaging in the life of God with all that we have – our homes, our sustenance, our family – indeed, our very selves- wherever we go. For in reality, we live and serve in God’s own house, and it is His dwelling into which we welcome others.

At its core, it is an extension of the radical generosity and love we have received from God, and are commanded to then share with others.

The Challenge of Community

All through our weekend in Massachusetts, I thought, “If only all these people weren’t here, I could enjoy myself.” I wanted the place to myself, and I didn’t care about what they wanted or needed in any way. “If only I were rich,” I thought, “I could buy a beach, or an island to enjoy all by myself.”

This yearning for isolation, for exclusive enjoyment, is antithetical to real hospitality. It is a sin that whispers seductively, urging us to hoard life’s blessings for ourselves alone, ignoring the absolute Truth that all things belong to the Lord.

And it is a failure to understand that there is a time for all things, and the time to enjoy ourselves and indulge in pleasure is not here yet. We aren’t yet trained to know true pleasure, which is loving and serving God, and so instead, we tend to run after false pleasures that easily lead us away from Him.

The Antidote to Selfishness

The teachings of Jesus serve as a poignant reminder of the fleeting nature of both earthly riches and pleasure, and suffering and deprivation:

Then he looked up at his disciples and said:

‘Blessed are you who are poor,
for yours is the kingdom of God.

‘Blessed are you who are hungry now,
for you will be filled.

‘Blessed are you who weep now,
for you will laugh.

And also:

‘But woe to you who are rich,
for you have received your consolation.

‘Woe to you who are full now,
for you will be hungry.

‘Woe to you who are laughing now,
for you will mourn and weep.
‘Woe to you when all speak well of you, for that is what their ancestors did to the false prophets.

Luke 6:20-21, 24-26

Instead of being full of the world and its “charms,” we should be full of God’s love and grace- and not just full, but bursting -so that it can’t help but overflow into the lives of others.

Similarly, Paul warns Timothy of the perils of loving wealth:

But those who want to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, and in their eagerness to be rich some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pains.

1 Timothy 6:9-10

While Paul’s letter to the Colossians guide us towards a better calling:

So if you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth, for you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life is revealed, then you also will be revealed with him in glory. Put to death, therefore, whatever in you is earthly: fornication, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed (which is idolatry). On account of these the wrath of God is coming on those who are disobedient. These are the ways you also once followed, when you were living that life.

Colossians 3:1-7

And John gives us the full and true understanding of our relationship to the world:

Do not love the world or the things in the world. The love of the Father is not in those who love the world; for all that is in the world—the desire of the flesh, the desire of the eyes, the pride in riches—comes not from the Father but from the world. And the world and its desire are passing away, but those who do the will of God live for ever.

1 John 2:15-17

The love of the world is all about what I desire. Real hospitality is concerned with the good that God desires for us.

We are created to live in community, to live as intimately as one body part is intimately connected to another. Therefore, I cannot truly enjoy things “by myself.” There is no love in isolation. Love is always in relationship- from God to me to others, and then back to God again. It cannot stop in any one of those three places, or it dies. Dies or transforms into something other than love- self-love, selfishness, covetousness, or pride.

Mere pleasure, on the other hand, can exist in solitude, but pleasure in anything but God is temporary. Everything that isn’t rooted in God, like John has just told us, is passing away.

True pleasure, like true hospitality, will always bring us closer to God and neighbor, not further away. God wants us to take pleasure in community- in our loving relationships with one another, not in our separation from others.

The essence of hospitality lies not in solitary enjoyment but in the joy of community. It is in loving relationships, in service to one another, that we find true fulfillment. As we navigate the complexities of life, let us remember that love is not a solitary endeavor. It is a relational dance, moving in harmony from God to us, to others, and back to God again.

In Conclusion: A Call to Serve

In the sacred narrative of Matthew 20, we find a profound lesson on service, culminating in the words of Jesus:

 … but whoever wishes to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wishes to be first among you must be your slave; just as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.

Matthew 20:26-28

These words echo through the ages, challenging the very fabric of our self-centered nature.

As an introvert who cherishes the simplicity of solitude, I find myself wrestling with this teaching. It’s not merely a theme in Matthew; it’s the heartbeat of Scripture. The message is clear: without embracing true service, love, and hospitality, we miss the essence of the Kingdom of God. For the Kingdom is not a solitary retreat but a vibrant community.

The Misconception of Pleasure

Our culture often whispers seductively that life is about personal pleasure, advancement, and gain. But to live solely for these things is to declare, albeit unwittingly, that heaven holds no attraction for us. It’s a stark misinterpretation of the life Christ calls us to—a life rich in meaning, service, and community.

In other words, if we don’t learn to live into true service to others, into real love and genuine hospitality, we will not see the Kingdom of God- because it is a community of people, not a private paradise.

If we continue to live out our lives for our pleasure, to use our resources for our own good, our own advancement, and our own “gain,” we are as good as saying, “heaven isn’t for me.” And we have misunderstood everything He has told us about real life in Him.

Hospitality Redefined

True hospitality transcends the mere act of opening our doors for social gatherings or sharing things that give us temporary joy and contentment.

It’s a radical awakening to the reality that we are crafted in love and provisioned generously—not for our own sake but for the splendor of God and the advancement of His kingdom.

Christ’s example is our touchstone. He served humanity without reservation, surrendering even His life. In turn, God beckons us to offer all that we have received, back to Him – in service to others.

The Promise of Eternity

And why should we hesitate?

This world, with all its majestic mountains, sweeping plains, serene beaches, and wild oceans is but a faint shadow compared to the beauty of a single moment spent in God’s presence—a moment of genuine hospitality extended to another soul.

What awaits us is an eternity of boundless generosity and fellowship, a life lived in complete union with our Creator. Every blessing He possesses is promised to us, withheld from no one. The joy and happiness that await us dwarf any earthly delight we can buy, craft, or imagine.

As the Apostle Paul reflects:

I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory about to be revealed to us.

Romans 8:18

With such a promise, let us give freely and generously to others right now.

What on earth, should hold us back?

Grant us, Lord, the lamp of charity which never fails, that it may burn in us and shed its light on those around us, and that by its brightness we may have a vision of that holy City, where dwells the true and never-failing Light, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen

Book of Common Prayer, p.110

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